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Larry Donsky, "McCoy"

Larry Donsky and my father attended Camp Dellwood together in Honesdale, PA from 1950 to 1954. At camp, Larry was known as "Moose"  Donsky. Later, he played first base and catcher for a Coney Island League  baseball team and worked in the Garment district in New  York. He and my father fell out of touch for thirty years until my father decided to look him up in the white pages and call him.  They have since rekindled their friendship and spearheaded the one and only Camp Dellwood reunion.

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Truly a wonderful voyage back to my childhood...... Not really, but I like to think that we were that funny...... Your mom using the F bomb is totally hot!

McCoy rules!!!!

YOU are the real McCoy!!!! So funny as usual. Can't wait to see more.....

This may be the funniest joke I've ever heard.

This is a very funny joke told by the king of "shtick". How can he top this next? However, I went to the same camp with "moose" and when I went there it was spelled DELWOOD.

This story told to me by Larry and he swears it's true!

CNN News Interview:
CNN reporter Rebecca Smith watched an old Jew praying at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem and after about 45 minutes, when he
turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she
approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN.
What's your name?""Morris Fishbien," he
replied. "Sir, how long have you been coming to
the Western Wall and praying?" "For about 60
years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do
you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the
Christians,Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the wars and
all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow
up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow
man." "How do you feel after doing this for 60
years?"
"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall".

I watched it twice to be sure. I don't get it. I hear laughter in the background and it makes me want to get it even more. Any help please?

Larry your the best! Always a funny story!

I, too, have watched it a dozen times, often with other friends. I've googled different iterations of the joke, and I still do not get it. I can't figure out what's supposed to be funny. I'm in Maury's boat. Why is this funny?!

For Maury D and Christopher: Go back and listen for the suggestively swishy articulation of "I'm the real McCoy..."
So, OK? It's clear?

Very cute! Keep them coming!

i'm laughin out loud. do you have any broccoli?

ALL WERE VERY ENJOYABLE ! PLEASE KEEP IT UP !

Bert Busch was my best friend in High School. Loved the joke.
When will my good old friend Barney be on?

I'm not Jewish, but here goes anyway.

This man walks into the doctor's office and gets examined by the doctor. The doctor says "you are in amazing shape for a 58 year old man. Your blood work is perfect, your testosterone is high. All functions seem to be performing like a much younger man." The guy says "Who said I was 58? I'm 78." The doctor says "If you don't mind my asking, how old was your father when he died?" The patient says "Who said my father died? He's 100 years old, is captain of his tennis team, and is in good health." The doctor says "Wow, that's amazing, how old was his father when he died?" The patient says "Did I say my grandfather died? He is 124 years old. Not only is he still alive, he is getting married next weekend." The doctor says "Amazing, but why would a man of 124 want to get married?" The patient says "Did I say he wanted to get married?."

Oy! My son sent me this and I loved each and every one of them. Tell your Mom I heard the broccoli joke, but it was butter. I'm another old Jew (older than these guys) who loves to tell jokes too.

I used to play golf, but not anymore. I was out playing with my buddies when we got delayed by a foursome ahead of us that was playing very slow. We waited and waited, but they never got past the green. The pro came over to apologize and explained that these were blind war veterans that they were honoring. All my buddies thought that his was a fitting honor for these war heroes. Not me. I told the pro, "So --- let them play at night!"

Larry,
I was friends with Myrna. You lived at 145 and I was at the corner. I did not realize how funny you were. Keep up the good work.

The fidelity joke omitted important parts. I have about 10,000 jokes in my collection. The McCoy joke is new to me, but not very funny. i write monologue jokes. Here's a few old ones:
Didja hear ...? 3-4-08
Didja hear Hillary Clinton's speech after winning the Primary in Rhode Island, Ohio and Texas? She said she is going "all the way." Bill said, "It's about friggin time!"

After receiving an endorsement today from the Des Moines Register Senator Hillary Clinton told a crowd she couldn’t be more “pumped-up.” Bill thinks some guy got lucky.
12/16/07
The latest poll stated that Obama is on top. Hillary said “That’s not a bad option.”

Didja hear …?
Entire herds of elephants in South Africa have to be culled because of overpopulation. Birth control is one of the options. My question is: Who will put condoms on the bulls? Duh!

11-21-07
A reporter asked President Bush if he’s going to eat turkey on Thanksgiving. Bush said, “Absolutely not, Turkey is an important ally.”

11-20
Didja hear …
Hillary during the recent Democratic Debate? She said, "They're not attacking me because I'm a woman. They're attacking me because I'm ahead."
And Bill commented: "Yeah, and she givith NADA!"

9/1/07 Senator Larry Craig tapped his shoes as a sexual advance to a cop in a public men's room and got busted. I think it brings new meaning to that expression: "I wouldn't want to be in his shoes!" Nice feat Larry.

Salon.com lists 34 Bush Administration scandals. It’s not a good time for Republicans: Mark Foley, Scooter Libby, Alberto Gonzales and now Larry Craig. I think they’re all going down!

MSW All (W)rights reserved. (ouch!)


This is how the joke should be told!

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UNFAITHFUL?
Abe says to his wife: "Becky, I vant to know if you've ever been unfaithful.? I really vant to know."
Becky says, “Don’t hask me such qvestions.”
Abe says, “I really vant to know.”
Becky says, "Vell, do you remember 30 years ago ven you needed money fer der business and all der banks turned you down?"
Abe says, "Yes, I remember."
Becky says, "And do you remember that finally vun bank approved der loan?"
Abe: "Yes, yes; this saved mine business." Vait a minute, does dis mean you …?
Becky: "Yes, I did it mit der bank President!"
Abe starts crying. Becky reminds him he wanted to know. Abe struggles for control and sobs … “Dis vas der only time?"
Becky: "Remember 20 years ago, you needed a special heart valve operation and all der doctors vundn't hoperate?
Abe: "I almost died."
Becky:" Do you remember ve vent to Texas and I found a doctor who did it?"
Abe: "Yes, yes, you saved mine life. Der doctor saved mine life! Vait a minute,
does dis mean …?"
Becky: "Yes, I did der doctor!"
Abe cries again. . Becky reminds him he wanted to know. Abe struggles for control and sobs … So this vas der last time, right?"
Becky: " Not hazactly. Do you remember last year - you vanted to be der President of der Synagogue? Remember you needed only 45 more votes . . . ?"
Abe cries bitterly and says, “ You did 45 members?”
Becky says, “And vun more to make sure you are a vinner!”


A gentile man goes to a golf course and is teamed up with 3 rabbis. The 3 rabbis wind up with scores in the low 70's, but his is 105. He's very upset and wants to know why they're so good. They explain they are religious, they go to temple frequently, pray every day, observe all the laws. They urge him to convert and go to temple regularly. He does, goes and prays all the time. Then three years later he teams up with the same 3 rabbis on the golf course. He still shoots 105 and he's very upset. He tells them he followed their suggestion, converted and went to temple often. "Which temple?"one asked.
"The temple on Wilshire and Fairfax," he replied.
The rabbis all laughed and said, "No wonder, that temple is for tennis!"
Morty Wright

Shloyme Seltzer has become rich and wants to show off,

so he orders his driver to drive him

to this new exclusive golf club with his new Cadillac.


Unfortunately a sign at the door unmistakably states

that Jews are not permitted access.

The driver wants to return home, but not Shloyme!


Shloyme says: "Wait here for me."


His driver responds: "But don't you see the sign?

They'll kick you out immediately!"


Shloyme says, "I don't have to tell them I'm Jewish."

and he leaves for the gate.


So the driver waits... One hour... two hours... three hours.

After three and a half hours, Shloyme is kicked out

by two body-builder type guardsmen.


The driver asks: "What happened?"


Shloyme says,"Everything was fine until we played hole number eight!

Accidentally I shot my ball into one of these ponds.

I shouted: 'Oh, my G-d, what will I do now?'

And then the waters separated and everybody knew..."
Morty Wright


A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the

middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and

the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he

went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree

and bounced back straight at him. It hit him in the temple

and killed him.


He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big

book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?"


"Yes, I was," he replied.


St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?"


The golfer replied, "You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"
Morty Wright

DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.

She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can

guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly

gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute

and says, "Close enough."
Morty Wright


Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is. "Top o' the mornin to ya".

As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

"So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. .........

"Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything."

Morty Wright

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing

home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say

"Supersex." She walked up to a 90 year old man flipping her

gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He said,"I'll take the soup."
Morty Wright

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling

asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said:

"You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached

across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few

moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he

reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily,

he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?"

she asked. "To get my teeth!"
Morty Wright

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